it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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