he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
