please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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