Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
