ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
