would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My liver just had a heart attack.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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