I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
