My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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