Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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