Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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