Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
