She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
