went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
