Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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