69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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