I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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