I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Randomize
