I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
