I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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