scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just want to make out with him forever
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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