is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
