I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
