I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
