You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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