I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
