next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
