Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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