I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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