let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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