i barfeds in our rink
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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