i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
