we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
