It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
4 words: hood of his car
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize