You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
