Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
