The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
