DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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