i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Bring me that man meat
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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