Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
