I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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