I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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