My nipple is on Facebook.
I need help removing her.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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