I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
