that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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