Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
