You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
