We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
