i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize