And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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