The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Your tits are I can't wait for
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
