last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i drank out of a bidet.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
