Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
