i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
