how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
