It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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