you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
