I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
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