I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize