Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just wanna soil my oats bro
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Randomize
