i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
