He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
