I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
