We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm at about main and main street
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize