u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
