is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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