wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
