and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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