I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
