well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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