Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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