Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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