so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
