Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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