dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
