I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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